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Maybe “Making It” Isn’t a Finish Line-What 5 Days of Quiet Did For Me- Part 2
Reminder: If you read to the end, I share a sneak peek at the overview of my forthcoming book, Choose Your Hard.
I’ve been thinking a lot about this idea of “making it.” I didn’t set out to wrestle with it—but five days of quiet will bring up more than you expect.
From the outside, some people would say I have.
Some days, I would say I have too.
Other days… not so much.
I know I am not alone in thinking this.
We talk about making it like it’s a place you arrive.
A line you cross.
A moment where everything finally settles and you can exhale for good.
But the longer I do this work—and live this life—the less I believe that’s true.
And sometimes, I find myself asking: What’s it all for anyway?
I’ve noticed that making it is a feeling. And it’s a fickle one. One day it’s there. The next day it’s gone. A roller coaster of satisfaction, doubt, pride, and pressure—sometimes all in the same afternoon.
What I do know is this: there is no finish line.
I’ve watched people push relentlessly for the end. For the next milestone. For retirement. For someday. And when they get there, the stress isn’t gone. The health issues aren’t better. In many cases, they’re worse.
I know leaders—high performers, part of groups they consider elite—who look ten to fifteen years older than they are. Successful on paper. Exhausted in real life. Not enjoying the life they worked so hard to build.
That’s when it clicked for me.
Maybe making it isn’t about arriving anywhere at all.
Maybe it’s about doing work that feels aligned. Living in a way that doesn’t cost you your body, your relationships, or your joy. Choosing a version of hard that’s sustainable—and meaningful.
And maybe the real work isn’t chasing the end…
but learning how to live well while you’re still in it.
There’s something about looking at life through a child’s eyes.
Continued…What 5 Days of Quiet Did for Me- Part 2.
NOTE: To learn more about Day 1 and 2 visit this link:
Leaders Need Boundaries- What 5 Days of Quiet Did for Me – Part 1
By Day Three, the quiet wasn’t novel anymore.
It was just quiet.
Sunday was the first full day I didn’t leave the house. I rowed and lifted heavy weights. I walked. And then I wrote—deeply, intentionally, for hours.
The hard part that day wasn’t focusing.
It was commitment.
No one was watching.
No deadline was looming—other than the one I set for myself.
No one needed anything from me.
I could have coasted.
Instead, I built the full structure of my next book—eight chapters, clear flow, a throughline I could feel in my heart, mind, and body. Writing was both energizing and exhausting—the familiar roller coaster. Doubt showed up (it always does), but the real work wasn’t eliminating doubt. It was not letting doubt decide.
By Day Four, life folded back in.
Coffee with a close friend. A quick appointment. Writing and more writing. Then babysitting our neighbors’ kids and taking them on a fartlek adventure, a military-like workout experience, around the subdivision—walk/jog intervals and push-ups included. This is considered a totally normal experience for kids when I babysit.
I also noticed something important while writing: I can enter flow—and I can also hit a limit.
The easy hard would’ve been to override my body and push.
The smarter hard was to listen.
I pivoted toward chapters that felt alive: blind spots, negativity bias, squat compliments, using your voice, self-care as a leadership strategy, the comfort crisis.
And that familiar imposter voice surfaced again:
Nobody will read this, Theresa. The market is flooded. This will never be anything.
Ugh. That inner voice can be ruthless.
I reminded myself that those thoughts are not me. I let them pass—and kept writing. I reminded myself why I’m doing this. Not every leader will be fired up about this work. But many will.
I know that because I see it.
I’ve lived it.
And it’s the reason I do what I do AND why our leadership programs have become so successful.
Day Five didn’t look special on the outside. Errands. Appointments. Normal life.
But I sent the book proposal to a trusted friend who’s an editor.
And then I prepared to send it to my former publisher and literary agent—knowing they might say no.
This was the hardest choice of the week.
I could protect myself by waiting.
By perfecting.
By not sending.
Instead, I chose the hard of exposure.
The thought they won’t want it still came up, yet it didn’t stop me. I also thought what if they do want it or even some other publisher.
To me, acting anyway despite the thoughts that came up showed me there is a foundation, a proof that I can sit in uncertainty and act anyway.
That’s empowerment.
Not confidence without fear—but movement despite it.
An hour before my family came home, I realized something else:
I was ready to see them. I missed them.
The quiet had done what it needed to do.
The Result of these 5 Days of Quiet
I didn’t escape my life.
I returned to it clearer.
I felt grounded.
“Making it” isn’t a finish line.
It’s choosing the hard that aligns—again and again—even when the outcome isn’t guaranteed.
This season of work is shaping something deeper than a book.
It’s shaping a way of leading and being that is life-giving.
Thank you for sitting in the quiet with me.
– Dr. T
As promised, here’s a sneak peek at the overview of my book—the full version is three pages.
Life today is what I call a beautiful chaos—full of people, purpose, growth, and meaning, and at the same time full of pressure, setbacks, health challenges, and constant demands. And too often, the way we live and work—especially in leadership—doesn’t feel sustainable or even attractive.
Choose Your Hard was born from that tension.
This book is for leaders at every level—at work and at home—who are expected to perform under pressure but were never taught how to do so as whole human beings. We’re trained to execute, achieve, and deliver results, yet rarely taught how to manage our energy, care for our bodies, regulate emotions, communicate clearly under stress, or sustain performance over the long haul.
The core idea is simple: life and leadership are hard—but there are different kinds of hard. Some forms of struggle build resilience, clarity, and capacity. Others quietly erode health, relationships, and joy. The difference isn’t motivation or discipline. It’s choice.
Throughout the book, I introduce what I call Integrated Intelligence, the new IQ—the integration of physical and emotional intelligence—and show how leaders can apply Human Performance principles in real life, not idealized routines. This isn’t about optimizing everything or doing more. It’s about returning to fundamentals that support sustainable leadership: movement, recovery, focus, communication, values, relationships, and the ability to disengage and reset.
Choose Your Hard is written for leaders who are tired of grind culture, overwhelmed by noise, and ready for tools that actually fit their lives. At its core, the book answers one essential question:
How do we lead, perform, and serve—without losing our health, our relationships, or ourselves in the process?
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